Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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