I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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