White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
