sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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