walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
