Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize