i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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