We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
