She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
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