I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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