She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
