dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
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We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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