I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize