Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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