DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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