so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
