I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
