i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
