pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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