I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
