I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
