i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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