Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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