wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
