your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
