i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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