I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
