i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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