VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
