filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize