so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
