He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
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the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
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apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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