just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
