the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he told me I talked like a deaf person
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
