My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Do vagina's smell?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
