fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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