at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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