I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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