I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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