i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
