hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
