Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
