Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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