just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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