You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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