i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
