i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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