I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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