Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
