i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
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yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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