his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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