I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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