i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
