she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
