as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
