FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
