I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
