Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I enjoy the company of your penis
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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