Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
