And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
