Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
home. puking in laundry basket.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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