All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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