I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
