apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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