I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
