I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
